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Joke of the Day

"[boss's office] BOSS: Do you like my fire place? ME: Actually, it's one word: ""fireplace"" BOSS: You're fired ME: Oh, I get it now"

"Captain Hook hated Paper Scissors Rock since he could only play Question Mark, which had no value in the game."

"What do you call a baby deer's droppings? FawnDoo! Nailed it."

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"Diary June 28 1954 So it turns out my weakness is kryptonite. I can't tell anybody this. June 30 1954 I accidentally told Lex. Should be ok"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon. Ones fun to smash with a mallet and the other ones a dead baby."

"A penny saved is a penny that will sit around in a jar for five years ;)"

"It seems those Trump supporters... Have some egg on their faces"

"You didn't question the free nachos or the ride in the van. But now that I've got a knife to your throat you're all ""why, why?"""

"What is the worst kind of vegetable to run a country? A penis shaped potato. Its a dick-tater."