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Joke of the Day

"Captain Hook hated Paper Scissors Rock since he could only play Question Mark, which had no value in the game."

"Thanks to Facebook I feel like we probably need a new word for friend.'"

"My neighbour is in the Guinness book of world records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away, in fact."

"Do you know what Minnesota doesn't have? Super Bowl Babies."

"Tonight I'll be teaching a poetry class for prison inmates called ""Prose & Cons""."

"Abortion jokes They really suck the life out of you"

"What do you call a Korean with a dog? ...vegetarian. For the record, I'm Korean and have a dog haha."

"Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet."

"Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'"

"I bought a fitbit that's connected to the GPS in my car. Even though I punch in coordinates to a restaurant, it always takes me to the gym."