2504

Joke of the Day

"I just got an email offering ""free bible verses"". You know, because who can afford bible verses?"

"What award was given to the best knock-knock joke winner? The No-Bell prize."

"People I live with are hiding my shit. The two most effective hiding places to date: 1) out in the open 2) where I last left it"

"MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL"

"Which position is for a baseball player wearing a buttplug? Shartstop"

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"What do I call my pasta friend? Ma Caroni! (my crony)"

"I pick up hitchhikers cause then when I'm pulled over the weed is his."

"I went to the library and asked if they had any books on Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog. The librarian said that they may or may not have it, but that it rings a bell."

"Who's great at math, but always tells lies? Fibonacci"