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Joke of the Day

"I pick up hitchhikers cause then when I'm pulled over the weed is his."

"why are the new york jets like hillary clinton? both have Bills to push around"

"Another Calculus Joke! What is a derivative in a derivative? Inflection."

"The only difference between politics and religion is whether the hope is for this life, or the next."

"Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies."

"Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse! Optimist: Yes, it can!"

"just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident."

"Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy."

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...they always take things literally"

"What is the fiercest flower in the garden ? The tiger lily !"