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Joke of the Day

"A reasonably attractive girl applied for a modelling job in a glamour magazine She was a candid eight."

"Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out...."

"I love it! My girlfriend is so deep.... They'll never find her body."

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring... Not even a mouse stirred."

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?? A Brazilian"

"I've just noticed my wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing She's behind with the washing."

"If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine."

"What do you call a showoff Texan? *Austin*tatious."

"If it weren't for twitter I wouldn't know what it feels like to go unnoticed. Just kidding, I'm married. I know exactly how that feels."

"what a compliment by husband../ Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""