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Joke of the Day
"[First date] Me: What do you prefer, flat or sparkling? Him: Water? Me: No, my personality."
Next Joke
"What is a ghost's favorite type of porn? BOO-kakke"
"What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?"
"Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car who's driving? A: The police."
"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken Christopher Reeve"
"The blind soccer world cup... ... where there's no 'eye' in 'team'"
"Kim Kardashian is essentially three asses stacked on top of each other."
"Why do tulips glow? Because they come from bulbs. (This is the only *dad* joke I know.)"
"My job is like defeating a final boss in a video game: I spend hours doing it, and when I finally do, it doesn't matter to anyone else."
"[first date] ""So, I heard you work at the circus."" [shallows bread stick whole] Nope. ""You sure about that?"" [chewing on glass] Yup"