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Joke of the Day

"the times they are indeed a changin..but the one time thatll never change is Lunch time. lock them engagements in if you think this is good."

"An idea for a board game... BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name."

"Cop: Have you been drinking sir? Me: Medium Double Quarter Pounder meal please. Cop: Step out of the vehicle. Me: Sprite."

"THERAPIST: you're running from something. what do u think it might be? [goose outside the window does throat-slitting motion] ME: uhfailure"

"After lengthy reflection, I've concluded that having kids wasn't worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me."

"You're like school in July... No class"

"What do you call 75 year old John Cena? John Cenile."

"""Take it from the top, but do it a bit more boring and awful this time."" --Coldplay's Producer"

"dating tip #4: when meeting her brother for the 1st time make sure when he goes for the handshake u kiss him on the lips to assert dominance"

"A Pentium processor engineer is counting visitors to a bar He's counted 12.000000000057249999 patrons so far."