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Joke of the Day

"After lengthy reflection, I've concluded that having kids wasn't worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me."

"WWII was just all the people w/ time machines who went back in time to kill hitler fighting the time travelers who wanted to protect hitler"

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic Sails are going through the roof!"

"I became a father late last night. Reddit, what are your best dad jokes?"

"How does a spider know if he just had sex with an actual female? She eats him alive afterward."

"My dad just had thought surgery and i asked him if he could still talk he said yes, and i'm about to email the doctor to see if i can get my bribe back."

"When Sting retires will he change his name to Stung?"

"I don't throw gang signs. I'm Scottish. I throw bricks :)"

"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist colony? It's not hard"