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Joke of the Day
"I call my nephews ""Dude"" and ""Homie"" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)"
Next Joke
"[Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked ""Casual""*"
"What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom? A pick pocket snatches watches."
"What's the difference between priests and gay men? Priests say Amen and gay men say ahh, men."
"LPT: If you ever find that your hard drive has been wiped, don't worry! Just call the NSA, they'll have have all your information backed up"
"What's the difference between an arts student and a table? A table can support itself"
"An interesting fact about owls. Their heads can rotate up to 360 degrees before it comes off in your hand."
"Who are the most intelligent monsters? Zombies (because, Braiiiiiiins!!!)"
"I had a job interview yesterday, I poured myself a glass of water and it overflowed slightly ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer, I simply replied ""No I always give 110%."""
"Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know"