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Joke of the Day

"POLICE! OPEN UP, WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. WELL, WE DON'T KNOW BUT WE'RE KINDA HOPING YOU ARE COS IT WAS A LONG DRIVE & JIM NEEDS TO PEE."

"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener."

"The Joke's on You!"

"What is the world's fastest land animal? The Ethiopian chicken"

"""Guess what!"" ""What?"" ""I went clubbing and did the Bus Driver last night!"" ""Oh I love that dance move!"" ""It's a dance move?"""

"How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin-divers."

"Why didn't Jesus eat bacon? It wasn't because he was Jewish, it's because he didn't exsist."

"A midget walks into a doctors clinic carrying a sword Doctor: Gerald! What's gotten into you man? Midget: Sorry, I feel a little Sikh."

"What do you call a strong woman with a successful career and family life? A human being you fucking sexist."

"My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after."