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Joke of the Day

"[Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked ""Casual""*"

"Questionably funny ""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Police"" ""Police who?"" ""Police open the door"" Posted this in anti-jokes since it is not really funny, and was told to put it here."

"Waiter! Oh Waiter! Yes, I`d like to know if I have earned any CashBack Reward`sTM with the purchase of my farm fresh miniature cucumber plate"

"son: why is my name jesus dad: mom wanted to name u after a rolemodel other son: &me? dad: well Charizard the same reason but it was my turn"

"What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog? An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!"

"My abs hurt today because last night I went to the gym and got punched in the stomach"

"CHEF ETHAN IS IN THE HOUSE *YEEEEAAHHHHH BOYYYYYYYY*"

"I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done"

"I don't drink, smoke or swear. Holy shit! I dropped my cigarette into my beer!"

"When telling jokes to identical twins make sure you tell them the whole joke ........ because you just can't tell them a part."