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Joke of the Day

"Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? It was outstanding in its field!"

"Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats"

"Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year? Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Mariah Carey That awesome performance. Update: thanks for helping me get to the front page of r/jokes"

"I like bald eagles. They taste almost just like baby seals."

"Anal with my girlfriend made my day. But it made her hole weak."

"Statistics show.. that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gangbangs."

"1st Date Me: Just warning you. I get freaky. Her: Oh yeah? How freaky.? Me:*thinking of using pizza rolls as a pizza topping* So freaky."

"Why do priests have lots of kids? They always use the holy condoms."