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Joke of the Day

"SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy"

"What do you call a Chinese pilot? A pilot you racist!"

"What did one deodorant say to the other? I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong."

"I was on a ride at a funfair. One minute I was laughing my head off. Next I felt angry. Then I just became very sad. Turns out I was on an emotional roller coaster."

"When I see a couple sharing the same facebook account I always want to ask them which one of you got caught having an affair"

"MATH JOKE: The ladies call me an integral ...because I fill the area under their curves"

"Why are people comparing Trump to Reagen? Reagan's biggest accomplishment was tearing down a wall not putting one up."

"A termite walks into a bar... ...and asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"I'm like a Ferrero Rocher in that I'm quite nutty and go down nicely with wine. I also come in family size."

"The sincerest form of flattery is having a robot from the future sent back in time to kill you. Imitation is a distant second."