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Joke of the Day

"How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb? V."

"Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story."

"Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them."

"Apparently champagne is the easiest alcohol to digest, so I'm going to consume several bottles to wash down my salad."

"Pease don't make fun of dyslexic dwarfs! It's not big and it's not clever!"

"I love doggie style as much as the next guy, but sometimes she's just too pretty to fcuk from behind."

"Yo Mama so dumb she put lipstick on her fore-head to make up her mind."

"Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it."

"I'm an introverted republican... ...I guess you could call me an anti-socialist."

"INTERVIEWER: under skills you've listed ""gets jokes"" ME: haha, very good. good one sir, haha"