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Joke of the Day

"Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story."

"Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!"

"What is the Highest Proof of Tequila? Juan Fifty Juan"

"A cabbage walks into a bar wearing a red leaf. The bartender takes one look at it and asks another patron how they feel about the cabbages bold new look. The patron replies, ""I think it's ridic yo."""

"What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex? A Krismas goose."

"Honey! I'm pregnant! Hello pregnant, I'm Dad."

"When I sit down on a field, I automatically start pulling grass out of the ground."

"Why do robots make bad lovers? Nuts & bolts!"

"Why aren't there any Muslim feminists? Pork is haram"

"What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left? ""You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."""