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Joke of the Day

"What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl? It's PAN-demonium!"

"How Can Numbers Be Real If Our i's Aren't Real"

"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when hit multiple times with an axe"

"I listen to your prayers, but only to correct their grammar."

"I'd rather be hit in the face with a shit-filled sock than to ever attempt helping my parents install a DVD player over the phone again"

"A man is in a car wreck and is rushed to the ER. When he wakes up he tells the doctor: ""I can't feel my legs!!!"" The doctor replies: ""I know, I cut your arms off."""

"Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough."

"What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."

"I lent my cell phone to my cousin, but he kept going to out-of-service areas causing me to receive extra charges on my monthly bill... So I call him and say ""Ay cousin! Stop Roman around!"""

"I love vending machines because I can see exactly where my food is coming from."