201715

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."

"How you doin' Jerusalem! ""WINE"" Here's a new tric- ""MAKE WINE"" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*"

"Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep."

"Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion."

"What did the hippie say when asked to leave the party? Namaste."

"I figured out why the plane crashed! There were skeletons driving it!"

"A guy asks a nurse about his wife.. guy: Nurse when do you think we can have sex? Nurse:wait I'll just go and change."

"I spend 90% of my time in Texas doing u-turns under highway overpasses trying to get somewhere I can see but can't drive to for some reason."

"It is known that masturbation eases congestion ""I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"""

"If Hitler were a black supremacist English teacher what would the Holocaust be called? White-out."