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Joke of the Day

"A good name for a vintage store would be 'Pants Dead People Have Farted In'"

"What do you call a shed full of black people? Antique farm equipment"

"Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible ? The characters in this book are entirely fictional."

"If I don't get my IBS and anger issues figured out... I'm going to lose my shit."

"Father: Son, it's time we talked about sex. Son: Sure, Dad, what do you want to know?"

"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike"

"Spent the entire day milking a single almond."

"I knew I'do have to close the podiatry clinic I had opened in Paris. I smelled defeat."

"Did you hear about the lawyer for U2? He was Pro-Bono"

"Why do Jewish men watch porno's backwards? That way they can see the hooker give the money back."