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Joke of the Day

"If Trump or Hillary really cared about America they never would have agreed to a debate in the middle of a Monday Night Football game."

"Do your Dads know your straight? I am not homophobic, this is for all the 11 year olds on reddit."

"Do you like apples? How bout I fuck you in the ass, how'd you like them apples!"

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes harmonica."

"I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, ""Who is that solo genius?"""

"What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other? A three car pile-up."

"The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it. Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech."

"There are 60 cities in China with populations over 1 million. SIXTY. All they do is fuck."

"Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason."

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well"