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Joke of the Day

"[2048] President Khaleesi Smith decrees that the words of the Star Spangled Banner will be changed to ""Land of the fleek & home of the bae"""

"Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7. At least it went out with a bang."

"did you hear about the guy with five penises? his pants fit like a glove"

"How do you make a cat woof? soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!"

"Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you."

"""We will, we will paper you!"" - Band that's more awesome than Queen"

"Did you know there's a new sub for disputes? r/gument I'll show meself out."

"I can't remember what age I am? Last time I checked I was 15, and that was 10 years ago!"

"Small girl: I'd buy that dog but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why all four of them touch the floor."

"My Grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off of a guard tower."