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Joke of the Day

"What does a girls asshole and a 9v battery have in common? You know it's wrong but eventually you stick your tongue to it."

"Son: Sire, I wish to change my name King: Why, Prince Stephen? Son: Because you call me ""Prince S"" King: Haha yeah that never gets old"

"I like my women like I like my presidents... Dead and illicit."

"Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger: Of course not I'm in the bus queue aren't I?"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a tiger with a cabbage? A: Man-eating coleslaw."

"Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman? He never delivered."

"Two Sikhs are fighting with each other on the street... ""I WILL A KILL YOU!"" One says blatantly. ""AND THEN?"" The other bellows while widening his eyes."

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."

"You can't tell me I neglect my children. Nobody else knows where they are either."

"Told my mom I hit 1200 Twitter followers. She pointed out how my brother owns a house and I'm wanted by several collection agencies. Oh ma!"