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Joke of the Day

"Red sea. Dolphins for some reason can't stop vacationing in Japan. Seriously, who told them that the coast was to die for."

"You know you're tired when you kneel on the ground pick something up and then have to decide if it's easier to get up or just live there now"

"A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone when you buy flowers because they're also a snack for later."

"A man contemplates if it's worth masturbating now so he can last longer in bed later. It will come in handy."

"What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't."

"Stop fcukin whining about being alone and lower your standards like the rest of us."

"The last airline I flew charged for everything. Except for the bad service. That was free."

"Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated"

"Kylo Ren: I am your father. Rey: We're roughly the same age. You're just copying everything Vader said. Kylo Ren: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Marshawn Lynch came back to play for the month of October. Breast Mode"