35273

Joke of the Day

"A man contemplates if it's worth masturbating now so he can last longer in bed later. It will come in handy."

"Fish and chips joke I draw the line at having fish and chips for breakfast I mean, there's a time and a plaice"

"How did the Pianist play without fingers? Not very well at all..."

"A colorblind person logged onto Facebook the day SCOTUS legalized gay marriage... ""Hey everyone, why are you all advertising for '50 Shades of Grey'?"""

"Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot."

"I was going to tell a joke about anal... ...but fuck it"

"Did you hear about that mad cow disease? A cow to another: ""Did you hear about that mad cow disease? Makes cows go completely insane!"" The other cow: ""Good thing I'm a helicopter!"""

"Boobs What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or people will think we're nuts!"

"just ordered so much food the delivery guy gave me four sets of utensils but it's okay I still love myself"

"It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."