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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't."

"At my last physical, my doctor told me I had to stop masturbating, and I asked why. He said, ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""

"Started a suicide prevention club at my school today We call it the hang out"

"Some people brings happiness wherever they go I bring happiness whenever I go"

"One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you."

"Hey, you know why goldfish are the only snack that smiles back? because they are baked."

"We should've known about the failure of communism In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags..."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of it's paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"My girlfriend said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I dont get women."

"I like my women like I like my fish Battered,chopped up, and stored in the freezer."