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Joke of the Day

"Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate."

"How come Hitler never went to the movies? Because he could nazi!"

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense."

"Australian Police are on the look out for a serial Aboriginal basher I called them up about it, apparently it's not a job"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It doesn't last as long for fat people."

"My business portfolio is a cigarette butt inside an empty beer bottle."

"Hey person who wrote ""WASH ME"" on my car, I know it wasn't my car that wrote that. My car doesn't speak English. I'm onto you."

"Q: Chief Running Water had two sons. What were their names? A: Hot and Cold."

"So, this woman stopped to ask me if my hair color was ""supposed to look natural."" My hair is purple, guys. Purple."

"Only in Scotland, will you ever see a man take a piss on a door, then open it and walk inside. (credit: Frankie Boyle)"