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Joke of the Day

"""Hey, let's make the inside of this building & every square inch of everyone & everything smell like THIS."" -inventor of incense"

"Rectum, damn near killed him! I always hear this punchline, without the build up part. What are some variations on this classic joke?"

"If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!"

"My dad just gave me a toilet plunger as a house warming gift. Dads, they're always helpin you with shit "

"What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name? He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie."

"I'm surprised they didn't make an all-female Ghost Busters sooner... Busting ghosts at three quarters on the dollar? What a savings!"

"Young man cashier: Ma'am, if you don't mind me saying, you have really beautiful eyes. What I heard: Ma'am"

"But I meant it as a compliment when I said your baby looks like a pug."

"An employee texts his boss ""What's the difference between this morning and your daughter...?"" (Slightly nsfw) His boss answers ""I don't know."" The employee replies ""I'm not coming in this morning!"""

"So Nickelback is playing a flood relief concert for Alberta. Like those folks haven't suffered enough."