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Joke of the Day

"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? Little caesars."

"What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them."

"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? *The taste.*"

"Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet? He was looking for pooh."

"if you watch Titanic from d back; it's about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England"

"I'm well pissed off with my neighbour today. Yesterday he kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over at full blast. I wouldn't mind normally, but it was all night long."

"What's the difference between broccoli and a booger ? little kids won't eat broccoli ."

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"""Knowledge is a weapon"" said Terry Goodkind which is why the cops can shoot you for holding a book"