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Joke of the Day

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"So if Lucy died 3.2 million years ago after falling from a tree... ...does that qualify her for a Darwin award?"

"What do you call a politician with premature ejaculation? A one-pump Trump"

"I always dream about her every morning ""because i usually sleep in morning classes"""

"What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head? The handycap."

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. "

"When I was younger my fairy godmother asked me if I'd like a long penis or a long memory I forget my response."

"What do you get for the man who has everything? Condoms."

"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."

"My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me."