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Joke of the Day

"if you watch Titanic from d back; it's about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England"

"*mugger walks up* GIMME EVERYTHING YOU GOT! *mugger slowly walks away with $2.16 and a lifetime of anxiety & existential misunderstanding*"

"It's colder than..."

"Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!"

"What's a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The **punch**-line :)"

"Why do Canadians do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game."

"Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond."

"Nobody under the age of 23 has any recollection of life before the internet. I hope that fact makes you vomit like it did me."

"*slowly releases air from a balloon during your wedding vows*"

"The rest of the world uses Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. I just learned some girl I hated in high school likes her new pedicure."