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Joke of the Day

"""Do these horizontal stripes make my country look fat?"" ~ American Flag"

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"Today's assignment: Walk up to people with a manila envelope and ask them ""Have you seen this person?"" and pull out a picture of yourself"
"What happens when you get hit by a rental car? It Hertz."
"What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!"
"So someone dropped a Chinese baby in a toilet? My advice is to pop it in a bag of rice overnight..."
"Latvian Joke Stop. Please."
"A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar... ... but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative Bill Bailey."
"A blonde joins a Mexican cartel The cartel sends her to Colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi."
"What do fish smoke? Seaweed."
"I used to be a plastic surgeon. Which raised a few eyebrows. (Credits: Stewart Francis. Look him up, this guy is hilarious)"