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Joke of the Day

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" is a great saying... But apparently a bad way to tell your kid they're adopted."

"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."

"Why do gypsies suck at basketball? They always travel and their stealing attempts end up failing."

"Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher? Because he was Haydn."

"Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with ""aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!"""

"""Sup man? Yeaah, I'm incorporated."" - business casual"

"Cello Green has T-Rex arms."

"I saw some crippled kid getting picked on the other day... He got kinda upset with me when I told him to stand up for himself."

"What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain."

"Your greatest puns! Please, I love puns. Lots of puns. Any kind. Bring em on!"