23101

Joke of the Day

"Your mom is like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks balls and then gets laid in the closet."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off."

"My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now."

"Did you hear about the guy who died of constipation? Yeah, he stopped giving a shit."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"Who's gonna be the next queen of R&B? I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!"

"There once was a man from Nantucket... ...who started a poem then said ""fuck it."""

"My penis has a warning label... It says ""Warning! Choking hazard...small parts."""

"H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one. Me: H: Oh, and it came with this 75"" television."