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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a black guy walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says ""get the fuck outta here"""

"Guy walks into a bar and asks for a ""Lindsay Lohan shot""... Bartender asks ""What is that?"" He replies with ""Oh you know, A redheaded-slut with a splash of coke."""

"Why did Einstein cross the road? So the other side could get to him"

"Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either."

"When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did didn't they hail him ?"

"Girls quote Marilyn Monroe relationship and life advice so much its almost like she wasn't a three time divorced, drug-addicted alcoholic."

"Your hips may not lie but your pushup bra is a sociopath."

"Where do you get a dog license? At the DMV (Department of Mutt Verification)"

"Why do midgets love playing soccer? The grass tickles their balls."

"An engineer major asks... ""How can we build this?"" A business major asks, ""How can we finance this?"" A liberal arts major asks, ""Do you want fries with that?"""