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Joke of the Day
"What do women and Tony Stark have in common? They are both Fe Males."
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"Every time someone tells you they are a vegan an angel eats a dog."
"My overnight bag is just a backpack full of Sour Patch Kids."
"If everyone jumped off the docks I would too. I'm a sucker for pier pressure."
"I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial"
"Your password must contain a character still living in Game of Thrones ****** Password expired ****** Password expired ****** Password ex..."
"I thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I'm in NJ"
"Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather. I am wearing a house."
"My girlfriend has lost all feeling from her waist down.... what an insensitive cunt."
"I'm not just pms-ing. I'm ovary acting."