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Joke of the Day

"I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial"

"What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ? It eggs-plodes !"

"My out-of-office voicemail greeting is just a solid three minutes of dry heaving."

"Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life."

"How does a chef relax? He beats his meat"

"Why did the ordinary man eat all the magic mushrooms? Because he wanted to be a fungi."

"What do you call it when you give a downy kid weed? Baked potato."

"Henry Tudor: ""I'm going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester."" Richard III: ""Over my dead body."""

"Maybe I misheard him... But I think God just told me to start building a really big goat."

"Soft on Wall Street. Hard on Sesame Street. Romney 2012."