210104
Joke of the Day
"If everyone jumped off the docks I would too. I'm a sucker for pier pressure."
Next Joke
"When you call home on a holiday and get passed around, it's worse than being included on a group text."
"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer"
"[in a bar] Him: Trouble is my middle name. Me: wow... That's a stupid middle name. You must hate your parents. Him: *breaks down crying"
"Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?"
"whats the difference between the USA and a yogurt? If you leave a yogurt unwatched for 500 years it will develop its own culture."
"Son, what was the name of the german guy that hides my stuff? Alzheimer grampa Alzheimer"
"Did you hear about the boss that slept with his secretary and then fired her? He really gave her the shaft."
"Using a remote control is the closest most of us get to being wizards."
"A book fell on my head today... I can only blame myshelf."