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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat... ...every year she win the Mrs. Hungary Pageant without even entering."

"ISLAM is religion of peace?? a piece of you here, a piece of you there, just a lot of pieces of your body flying"

"I'm at my most British when she says ""teabag me"" and I drop a sack of Earl Grey in her mouth."

"Grizzlies are emerging from hibernation, so hiking in groups of 3 or more is recommended. Also not being the slowest one of the group."

"What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk? Disney spells."

"I just spent $100 at Whole Foods. This better be a damn good bag of Almonds."

"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they push two Twins together to make a King."

"How do you get out of an elephant? Q: How do you get out of an elephant? A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)"

"I used to live in a tea cup I know what you're thinking, pour you"

"HER: I'd invite you in, but I never kill on a first date ME: kill? HER: haha I meant kiss stupid autocorrect ME: we are talking out loud"