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Joke of the Day

"My TV thinks it's a kangaroo... It just won't stop channel hopping."

"Men go to bars for 2 reasons: 1) They don't have a wife to go home to. 2) They have a wife to go home to."

"I was going to tell you a joke about Alzheimers But I just don't remember it now"

"1992: Girls got undressed for their husbands. 1995: Girls got undressed for money. 2012: Girls get undressed for likes on Facebook and Instagram"

"Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus? She heard about his second coming"

"What dairy product is the most revered? Swiss cheese, after all it's the holeist!"

"Nicknames How do you get bob from ""robert"" ? -no answer How do you get billy from ""william""? -no answer how do you get dick from ""richard""? -ask nicely"

"Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom? Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door."

"Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."

"My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt."