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Joke of the Day

"Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom? Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door."

"Where did the glue go on vacation? Nowhere! He just stuck around!"

"Sometimes I think about how infinite the universe is... and realize that somewhere out there, there's a galaxy shaped like a dick."

"5 shots + 18 beers = 6 apologies"

"How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice? He won't stop banging at the door."

"Doctor: I have bad news for you. You only have 10 left to live. Patient: Ten what? Doctor: Nine. Eight..."

"When confronted, people in wheelchairs never seem to stand up for themselves."

"What do you call a hot high school math teacher? Expansion of minors"

"Growing up is watching your parents morph from superheroes to ordinary people just trying to figure stuff out."

"Why was the powerful Jedi a terrible comedian? Too *forced*, his punchlines were"