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Joke of the Day

"BOUNCER: Sorry, buddy - planets only. PLUTO: I'm on the list. BOUNCER: Nope. *Jurassic World walks in* PLUTO: Oh you cannot be serious."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Just ask Tommy Hilfiger it out."

"What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day? I cantaloupe."

"I never believed that faith could move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers"

"So I see your name is tiff I should hook you up with my friend gif, he's just like you only a little more animated"

"What did the potato name his son? Chip. Sorry."

"A drop of roof water hit my face and I reacted like it was liquid herpes."

"Trump is single-handedly bringing down America. Actually, I take it back. With hands that small, he'd have to use them both."

"A Fat Lady was in a Bikini."