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Joke of the Day

"What did the potato name his son? Chip. Sorry."

"What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2? Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd"

"So I'm drinking in a bar... ... And the waitress yells 'help! Does anyone know CPR?!' So I say 'Hell I know the whole alphabet!' So everyone laughs. Except this one guy."

"A local man was arrested today for pouring Harpic all over the vicar. He's been charged with bleaching the priest."

"Why is seeing a snow leopard on the hunt almost, but not quite the rarest thing in the world? A ready predator is pretty rare, but not as rare as a pretty redditor! :)"

"How was Rome cut in half? With a pair of Caesars."

"What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Poop."

"What has mass but doesn't take up space? The Catholic religion"

"""You ask."" ""No, you ask!"" ""Will you please ask?"" ""Why can't you ask?"" ""Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"""

"Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not."