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Joke of the Day

"HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell"

"The only reason /r/funny is funny"

"If you're ever chased by a police dog ...don't run over a see-saw, crawl through a tunnel or jump through a hoop. They're trained for that sort of thing"

"If it's too cold in a room... Go to the corner, it's 90 degrees!"

"What's got 8 feet and 10 shoes? The McCann Family."

"What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out my underpants? My mother."

"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."

"It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission. "

"What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!"

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."