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Joke of the Day

"Lemonade Stand At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door? Matt"

"If you want to break your addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers... you need to quit cold turkey."

"Three logicians walk into a bar The bartender asks: ""Do you all want a drink?"" The first logician says: ""I don't know."" The second logician says: ""I don't know."" The third logician says: ""Yes."""

"How many Millennials does it take... to screw in a lightbulb? None. Their parents will do it for them."

"My dad always warned me about anal. He said ""Son, this is going to hurt."""

"I still occasionally fap over my ex Made a copy of the key to her place when we were together, and she's a heavy sleeper"

"What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can reason with the terrorist!"

"Why aren't any transvestites astronauts? Because in space, there's no drag.^please^dont^hurt^me."

"Everytime I see a chinese guy, I always think I've seen him somewhere else. - a tourist in Shanghai or anywhere in the world."