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Joke of the Day

"My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat"

"Just saw an old man in the park feeding the birds Wonder how long he'd been dead"

"How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza"

"""All men are the same."" Said a chineese woman as she lost her husband in a crowd."

"LPT: If you're single this weekend, remember... Name your hands and you'll have an instant threesome! Happy Valentine's day!"

"my signature move is called ""the Mouse,"" where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon"

"Why didn't the lesbians go shopping for sports equipment? Because they don't like Dicks."

"What do you get when you cross a JOKE with a RHETORICAL QUESTION?"

"[at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying"

"s/o to bees for producing food that we can eat. no other bug is generous like that LOVE YOU BEES"