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Joke of the Day

"s/o to bees for producing food that we can eat. no other bug is generous like that LOVE YOU BEES"

"After ten minutes trying to explain twitter to a friend I gave up and told her it was a pyramid scheme."

"Getting girls to have sex with me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle. Easy when I have a knife."

"I'm going to make a calendar of sexy Islamic extremists I will call it, Ji-hotties"

"ISIS should hire me... I have a lot of experience when it comes to bombing, especially on final exams."

"I would like to work as a janitor in Microsoft. I could see myself excel in that job."

"chuck norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he's never cried."

"Anyone need a job? I hear Malaysia Airlines is looking for people. ^im ^so ^sorry"

"Why doesn't the sun need to go to University? He's too bright."

"You got problems with parenting... You start to get headaches. I follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle: ""Take two and keep away from children."""