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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you're single this weekend, remember... Name your hands and you'll have an instant threesome! Happy Valentine's day!"

"Yo momma so ugly .. Her portraits hang themselves"

"My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said ""what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"""

"What does the nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."

"The lights at JayZ's house weren't working, so he called me to fix it. Now he's got 99 problems but the switch ain't one."

"Why did the Computer Engineer retire young? He had a lot of cache."

"So I walked into a pub with some of the lads... Oh wait hang on I don't have a social life."

"What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !"

"Why are there no white chinese people? It's because two Wongs don't make a white."

"How do inmates pay for things in prison? With ConCurrency, of course."