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Joke of the Day

"I bought shoes off a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."

"Today my brother got pinkeye... My day went pretty well, but in his eyes it was pretty shitty."

"The way I bend the rules should qualify as yoga."

"What does the Jewish Bruce Wayne drive? The Shabbat-Mobile."

"What did Beethoven do when he died? Decompose."

"I'd follow humor pages on facebook but most of the time I see a joke, I've already reddit before"

"What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch? Patio Furniture."

"Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate."

"Why did the chickens cross the road? I had to get back to my car from KFC"

"For Halloween this year, I went as Julian Assange And stayed home."