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Joke of the Day

"For Halloween this year, I went as Julian Assange And stayed home."

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"What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist? Haw"
"Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me... I thought it was a nice jester..."
"Worst thing about smoking marijuana nightly is the strong desire to also smoke it morningly, lunchly, afternoonly and allthetimely."
"The ""free milkshakes for a month"" contest I just won is telling me my month's supply of shakes is 5 shakes. Yeah 5 should last me a month..."
"A shitty geometry joke What do you call a fancy bisexual scottish cane? An anglo biscepter"
"a man walks into a bar he falls to the floor unconscious. oldy, but a goody."
"A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say ""I think we lost them."""
"""any ideas?"" let's tie a bunch of helium balloons together & then hold onto the strings ""whoa whoa whoa, let's not get carried away"""
"I tried turning my AC off today but couldn't.... Turns out it's hard to stop a Trane."