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Joke of the Day

"Bird of peace? The dove Bird of war? The hawk Bird of true love? ..wait for it... .... The swallow *walks offstage"

"Any time you see a mass suicide case on the news, you can pretty much assume the assembly of an IKEA product was the cause."

"Drops empty vodka bottles in all the neighbor's recycling bins. So the garbage men don't think it's just me."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The butcher didn't finish the job."

"My girlfriend is like John Cena I can't see her :("

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? Reply: Yes How did you manage to get between their tiny legs?"

"What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with? Ctrl+P"

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"What is Donald Trump's favourite drink? A white Russian."

"TIL people STILL tell Chuck Norris Jokes! And that when Alexander Bell first invented the phone, he found 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris."