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Joke of the Day
"My new thesaurus is terrible! Not only that but it's also terrible."
Next Joke
"Give a man a fish and he'll go to McDonald's instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald's"
"Oh ..your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?:-)"
"What's the best iPhone app for telling a kid he's adopted?"
"What are an Italian bench warmer's favorite vegetables? Asparagi!"
"I wouldn't be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes."
"How do you make a coffee sad? You mocha..."
"I'm not a fan of Trump, but I'd never denigrate his supporters If you're a Trump supporter, denigrate means to put down."
"Everyone prepare yourself for National ""How is it May already?"" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet."
"such a hipster... they were into Adele before she got big."